Hey Friends,
I realized the other day that I've been seriously lagging behind on the blog front! I thought I'd fix that and write a little post with some updates on the things that have been going on lately. Over the last few months, we think we've started to gain a better understanding of what's been going on with my health these last couple of years.
Long story short, we found that I have a bacterial overgrowth/infection in my small intestine. We believe that has caused the known damage in my pancreas, intestinal lining, and GI tract in general. My doctor thinks the damage is significant enough that toxins and other substances could have gotten into my bloodstream, which could be a big part of what has been causing many of the non-digestive symptoms and issues throughout the rest of my body. This "diagnosis" is something we'd looked at a while back. When we treated it and I didn't get much better, we figured there must have been something more significant going on. But we realized that it was never successfully treated and that it's possibly been at the root of things this entire time.
You might think that this would be a fairly easy thing to treat. I mean, how hard is it to kill a few bugs, right? But with the type(s) of bacteria, where they are located, how long they've been there, and the damage that has been done, it's actually quite tricky. So far, we haven't been successful in finding the right combination of diet and treatment to get rid of these angry little guys and allow me to begin healing. We're still not sure that we have a full grasp on the extent of it all. We know we're still missing a piece or two of the puzzle yet, such other potential contributing factors or underlying causes, and we're waiting on some test results that will hopefully give us some clues as to what those might be.
We've gotten to the point where my weight loss and malnutrition status are now more of an issue than the bacteria. It's been a pretty overwhelming couple of weeks, physically and emotionally, as I've had to come to terms with the fact that my body has kind of crossed a line that I was hoping to avoid crossing. The bacteria are now taking a back seat as we put our focus on getting me back to a healthy weight and more nourished state. Once we do that, we'll reassess the situation. It's very possible that some symptoms we've been attributing to bacteria are actually being caused by malnutrition, so I am quite curious to see if and how much I improve with this change in focus.
This new plan will involve a pretty significant change in diet. I do have some concerns about that, but I know it's important. My focus will be on high calorie and low volume foods, which is essentially the exact opposite of what I have been doing these last two years. My doctor actually did say, "If you can eat some pizza from Old Chicago without reacting too badly, I want you to do it." Haha! We'll also be trying to keep things as easy to digest as possible so that I don't overwhelm my system too much, but I have been told to prepare for this to be a bit of a hard and temporarily unpleasant process.
My taste buds will sure enjoy it though! I've missed so many things, so I am excited to have more "food freedom." I've been over-analyzing every bite of food for so long, worrying that almost anything I eat could somehow feed the bacteria or cause a flare in symptoms. It's very possible that stressing so much and over-limiting my diet has actually made things worse. (I read this article the other day, and it resonated so much with where I'm at.) So, in addition to my doctors, I've also started seeing a nutritional therapist who will be guiding this process and helping me work through the food-related anxieties I've developed.
I haven't been able to get out and do too much other than church-related activities these last couple of weeks. For this next little while, it will be important for me to conserve as much energy and as many calories as I can. My mom took this last week off from work so that she could be at home to monitor my health, cook for me, take me to my appointments, and keep me company. (If you're reading this, mom, thank you! You have sacrificed so much for me over these last couple of years, and I truly couldn't have made it through without you.)
Sometimes people ask me what in the world I've been doing with all my time and how I haven't lost my mind by now. Haha. Believe me, sometimes it takes all I have to keep from going crazy. But I usually don't mind spending time alone. In a very big way, I think being an introvert has helped me in handling this season.
I did actually take a trip to Florida with my mom and brother the first week of June! It was my first time doing any real traveling in about two years. It was so great to get away for a little while, see the ocean, and take a little time to refresh. I also got to see and catch up with a great friend I'd met while I was in South Africa who was in Florida on holiday. I loved getting to reconnect with him for a bit! All things considered, I felt pretty good for the majority of the time I was there. Thank you to everyone who was praying for that for me. I know a lot of you were, and God sure answered that prayer!
In general, when I am able to go out, one of my favorite things to do is spend time with my church family. When I came home from South Africa in the fall of 2015, my plan was to "get better quickly" and then find a job somewhere, anywhere, not in Kansas. I had no desire to stay here. That changed when I found The Gathering. I love how much my church loves Jesus and how passionate and committed they are to being and making disciples. I never thought I'd say I feel called to be here, but I do. God has been and is getting ready to do some incredible things in Newton, and I'm so thankful and excited to be a part of it.
On the days I stay in, I often spend my time reading, journaling, sitting outside, listening to music, taking glorious naps, watching (sometimes too much) Netflix, listening to sermons and podcasts, Skyping or catching up with friends who don't live in the area, and doing occasional freelance writing and/or editing work. I also enjoy doing gentle yoga, deep breathing, and other simple exercises or techniques that help with stress relief and digestive function. (We're actually working on getting me in with a physical therapist so that I can start putting a little more focus on that area of things. I'm kind of excited about that!)
I also spend a lot of time with Jesus. Pursuing Him and His plans in the midst of the crazy, beautiful mess of this season and allowing Him to take my life in a far different direction than I'd ever planned or imagined has been the best decision I could have ever made. Time after time, He's shown me how He's been walking this journey right along with me, even when I've doubted Him or pulled away. He's shown me that He is constant, even when everything else around me seems uncertain. He has grown me and challenged me. He has reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. He has made me more aware of who He is, of His unwavering love for me, of who I am to Him, and of who He has called me to be.
Earlier this year, I participated in a 12-week Disciple Life leadership course through my church. It was an incredible experience that helped me learn so much about what it truly means to be a disciple, where I'm at in my own spiritual journey, my strengths and gifts, and the areas I still need to grow in when it comes to being on mission with Jesus. Spending time working through those things with God has been wonderful, difficult, and eye-opening all at the same time.
Honestly, it doesn't surprise me that I've had an extra rough couple of weeks right when I believe I've been hearing from God. Spiritual warfare is very real. So I'm going to do my best to continue trusting and leaning in even further. The songs "Shadow Step" and "Not Today" from Hillsong United's new album Wonder have been part of my prayers and praise every morning. (If you haven't listened to the album yet, you should! I've had it on repeat for weeks.)
This has been such an important season of growth and preparation. I truly believe that there is a "next" coming soon and that I will be healthy for it. I have no idea what that is or what it will look like, but I'm in a place where I'm excited for and open to whatever God has planned and wherever He leads me - even if it's something completely unexpected. I am praying and believing that new season will start soon. If you'd like to, I'd love for you to join me in that. :)
I know I usually end every post with a thank you paragraph, but I still feel like I don't say it nearly enough. So, THANK YOU to each and every one of you who has been a part of this season of my life - from near or far - by praying for me, speaking life, sharing words of encouragement, allowing me to vent, cooking for me, laughing with me, truly listening to me, coming over and staying in with me when I'm not up to going out, putting up with me on my bad days, walking with me through it all, and/or simply being there for me when I've needed a friend. It all has meant more than you could possibly know.
P.S. If any of this has connected with you, don't hesitate to reach out. I have learned so much about how the health of your gut can impact your overall health. This area of research has been gaining a lot of ground in recent years. It truly is fascinating stuff! I realize it may not be the most popular or comfortable topic to talk about, but it's become a big part of my life and story. I can definitely direct you to some great resources if you're interested. :)
I realized the other day that I've been seriously lagging behind on the blog front! I thought I'd fix that and write a little post with some updates on the things that have been going on lately. Over the last few months, we think we've started to gain a better understanding of what's been going on with my health these last couple of years.
Long story short, we found that I have a bacterial overgrowth/infection in my small intestine. We believe that has caused the known damage in my pancreas, intestinal lining, and GI tract in general. My doctor thinks the damage is significant enough that toxins and other substances could have gotten into my bloodstream, which could be a big part of what has been causing many of the non-digestive symptoms and issues throughout the rest of my body. This "diagnosis" is something we'd looked at a while back. When we treated it and I didn't get much better, we figured there must have been something more significant going on. But we realized that it was never successfully treated and that it's possibly been at the root of things this entire time.
You might think that this would be a fairly easy thing to treat. I mean, how hard is it to kill a few bugs, right? But with the type(s) of bacteria, where they are located, how long they've been there, and the damage that has been done, it's actually quite tricky. So far, we haven't been successful in finding the right combination of diet and treatment to get rid of these angry little guys and allow me to begin healing. We're still not sure that we have a full grasp on the extent of it all. We know we're still missing a piece or two of the puzzle yet, such other potential contributing factors or underlying causes, and we're waiting on some test results that will hopefully give us some clues as to what those might be.
We've gotten to the point where my weight loss and malnutrition status are now more of an issue than the bacteria. It's been a pretty overwhelming couple of weeks, physically and emotionally, as I've had to come to terms with the fact that my body has kind of crossed a line that I was hoping to avoid crossing. The bacteria are now taking a back seat as we put our focus on getting me back to a healthy weight and more nourished state. Once we do that, we'll reassess the situation. It's very possible that some symptoms we've been attributing to bacteria are actually being caused by malnutrition, so I am quite curious to see if and how much I improve with this change in focus.
This new plan will involve a pretty significant change in diet. I do have some concerns about that, but I know it's important. My focus will be on high calorie and low volume foods, which is essentially the exact opposite of what I have been doing these last two years. My doctor actually did say, "If you can eat some pizza from Old Chicago without reacting too badly, I want you to do it." Haha! We'll also be trying to keep things as easy to digest as possible so that I don't overwhelm my system too much, but I have been told to prepare for this to be a bit of a hard and temporarily unpleasant process.
My taste buds will sure enjoy it though! I've missed so many things, so I am excited to have more "food freedom." I've been over-analyzing every bite of food for so long, worrying that almost anything I eat could somehow feed the bacteria or cause a flare in symptoms. It's very possible that stressing so much and over-limiting my diet has actually made things worse. (I read this article the other day, and it resonated so much with where I'm at.) So, in addition to my doctors, I've also started seeing a nutritional therapist who will be guiding this process and helping me work through the food-related anxieties I've developed.
I haven't been able to get out and do too much other than church-related activities these last couple of weeks. For this next little while, it will be important for me to conserve as much energy and as many calories as I can. My mom took this last week off from work so that she could be at home to monitor my health, cook for me, take me to my appointments, and keep me company. (If you're reading this, mom, thank you! You have sacrificed so much for me over these last couple of years, and I truly couldn't have made it through without you.)
Sometimes people ask me what in the world I've been doing with all my time and how I haven't lost my mind by now. Haha. Believe me, sometimes it takes all I have to keep from going crazy. But I usually don't mind spending time alone. In a very big way, I think being an introvert has helped me in handling this season.
In general, when I am able to go out, one of my favorite things to do is spend time with my church family. When I came home from South Africa in the fall of 2015, my plan was to "get better quickly" and then find a job somewhere, anywhere, not in Kansas. I had no desire to stay here. That changed when I found The Gathering. I love how much my church loves Jesus and how passionate and committed they are to being and making disciples. I never thought I'd say I feel called to be here, but I do. God has been and is getting ready to do some incredible things in Newton, and I'm so thankful and excited to be a part of it.
On the days I stay in, I often spend my time reading, journaling, sitting outside, listening to music, taking glorious naps, watching (sometimes too much) Netflix, listening to sermons and podcasts, Skyping or catching up with friends who don't live in the area, and doing occasional freelance writing and/or editing work. I also enjoy doing gentle yoga, deep breathing, and other simple exercises or techniques that help with stress relief and digestive function. (We're actually working on getting me in with a physical therapist so that I can start putting a little more focus on that area of things. I'm kind of excited about that!)
I also spend a lot of time with Jesus. Pursuing Him and His plans in the midst of the crazy, beautiful mess of this season and allowing Him to take my life in a far different direction than I'd ever planned or imagined has been the best decision I could have ever made. Time after time, He's shown me how He's been walking this journey right along with me, even when I've doubted Him or pulled away. He's shown me that He is constant, even when everything else around me seems uncertain. He has grown me and challenged me. He has reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. He has made me more aware of who He is, of His unwavering love for me, of who I am to Him, and of who He has called me to be.
Earlier this year, I participated in a 12-week Disciple Life leadership course through my church. It was an incredible experience that helped me learn so much about what it truly means to be a disciple, where I'm at in my own spiritual journey, my strengths and gifts, and the areas I still need to grow in when it comes to being on mission with Jesus. Spending time working through those things with God has been wonderful, difficult, and eye-opening all at the same time.
Honestly, it doesn't surprise me that I've had an extra rough couple of weeks right when I believe I've been hearing from God. Spiritual warfare is very real. So I'm going to do my best to continue trusting and leaning in even further. The songs "Shadow Step" and "Not Today" from Hillsong United's new album Wonder have been part of my prayers and praise every morning. (If you haven't listened to the album yet, you should! I've had it on repeat for weeks.)
This has been such an important season of growth and preparation. I truly believe that there is a "next" coming soon and that I will be healthy for it. I have no idea what that is or what it will look like, but I'm in a place where I'm excited for and open to whatever God has planned and wherever He leads me - even if it's something completely unexpected. I am praying and believing that new season will start soon. If you'd like to, I'd love for you to join me in that. :)
P.S. If any of this has connected with you, don't hesitate to reach out. I have learned so much about how the health of your gut can impact your overall health. This area of research has been gaining a lot of ground in recent years. It truly is fascinating stuff! I realize it may not be the most popular or comfortable topic to talk about, but it's become a big part of my life and story. I can definitely direct you to some great resources if you're interested. :)
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