Believing Big Things

Hey Friends,

Over these last few weeks, numerous people have reached out and told me that they're praying for healing, believing that God is working behind the scenes, and feeling that this season of my life will be coming to an end very soon. I've been incredibly thankful for their words and encouragements but, truthfully, I've gone back and forth with my own feelings on those prayers and declarations. Sometimes I've been really pumped up, and other times I've felt like it will never happen. Sometimes my prayers have been full of thanksgiving and expectation, but other times they have been filled with empty words - or no words at all.

Every time I've thought that we made some sort of breakthrough with my health, something else has come up or my symptoms have started to return. It hit me a couple of weeks ago that I've been home from South Africa for a year now and I still haven't made it out of this season. I've had moments of just being incredibly tired: spiritually, emotionally and physically.

On Friday, a friend encouraged me to ask God for a specific Word that I can hold on to and declare over this season of my life. I loved the suggestion, but I honestly wasn't quite sure how I would go about doing that. My initial thoughts were something like: "So... what? I'll pray for a Word, randomly open the Bible, and that'll be it? I guess you'll have to surprise me here God, because I'm just not sure how this is going to work." 

Surprise me, He did.

"Ask, and it will be given to you..." Matthew 7:7

"But he said to me. 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

On Saturday morning, I felt prompted to pick up my copy of the book "Jesus Continued" by JD Greear. I started reading it a little more than a year ago but still had a couple of chapters left.

The first of those final chapters, "You Have Not Because You Ask Not," is primarily about the importance of continuing to ask God for the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. While reading it, I strongly felt God was telling me that I should be applying the same to my health situation. Throughout this last year, I've never really fully declared or believed healing for myself. Sure, I've prayed for it, but there have always been a number of doubts and feelings of unworthiness at the back of my mind. I was reminded to think back to my time in South Africa where I saw God move and work in ways I couldn't have possibly imagined and had never before experienced. I saw, in many ways, how God's healing power is still very much alive and active in today's world. So why, then, had I been believing that He couldn't do the same for me? 

"Ask, and it will be given to you..." is a central verse in that chapter. I felt God challenging me to start asking and believing big things of Him again - that I shouldn't underestimate what He can do for His children and for the purposes of His Kingdom. It's time for me to start believing for healing in an entirely new way. 

The very last chapter, "The Way Up Is The Way Down," is where I was reminded of this verse in 2 Corinthians: "But he said to me. 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (I wrote a post a few months ago that is based on that story/verse, which you can find here.) God reminded me that He often does His greatest work in our deepest valleys. Our times of weakness can later become avenues for His greatest power. Our weakest moments allow us to experience more of His mercy and grace. Our hardest seasons are often where we draw closest to Him and become full of His Spirit. He reminded me that this time is not and has not been in vain, and that He has used it to grow me as a person and in my faith, and to prepare me for what He has planned next. 

Later that afternoon, I opened up "Jesus Calling"  to read the devotional for that day. I almost couldn't believe it when I saw those exact same two verses on the page. 

How good is that?! I honestly don't think I've ever felt God speak to me so clearly and directly. I was filled with an overwhelming and incredible feeling of God's hand on my life. I felt as though He was telling me that my previous prayers for healing hadn't been answered yet because the timing wasn't right. There was work He wanted and needed to do first. He's been preparing me. But now; now is the time to ask. 

The promise that the end of this season is near has been even further confirmed during these last few days through doctors appointments, scripture, and prayers and words from others. I'm not saying that I'm expecting to wake up miraculously healed one morning; it might still be a process. But I'm confident in what God has revealed to me, and I'm going to continue pressing into that in the days to come.

I'm just so thankful for all the ways that God has been at work over this last year, and I'm excited and expectant to discover what He has planned next. Thank you to each and every one of you who have prayed for me, encouraged me, spoken into my life, passed along a Word, visited me, or been a part of this season in both big and small ways. None of it has gone unnoticed, and I appreciate all of you more than you know. 

Wherever you are in life, find peace in knowing that God is working everything together for His good and His glory. He's there, He sees you and He loves you. He's painting a much bigger picture, even if you can't see how it all fits together yet. Trust Him with the outcome.

"One of the most wonderful things about knowing God is that there's always so much more to know, so much more to discover. Just when we least expect it, He intrudes into our neat and tidy notions of who He is and how He works." - Joni Eareckson Tada

I Am, I Will

Hey Friends, 

This is something I wrote a few months ago as I was thinking about the person I am and want to be in Christ. This is not to say that I am successfully doing any or all of these things. I am far from perfect and make mistakes daily. But this is a recognition of and reflection on who God calls us to be through scripture. I was challenged and encouraged when I read through it again today, and I thought I'd share it in hopes that it might do the same for someone else. 

I Am, I Will

I am loved - eternally, perfectly, fully and unconditionally - by God. I will remember that it is by grace, not by works, that I have been saved. I do not have to strive for His love and acceptance, but accept it in thankfulness and faith. I have been set free through Christ. Ultimate joy, love, peace, security and beauty are found in living life in His presence and remembering what He has done for me. (Psalm 103:12, John 3:16, Romans 5:8 & 8:2, Ephesians 2:4-5)

I am made in God's image. He knows me perfectly, and I am precious in His sight. My ultimate value and worth are found in Him and Him alone. He is my creator, Father, guide, teacher, protector and provider. I cannot walk through this life in my own strength, but through Him, all things are possible. ((Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:13-14, Isaiah 43:4, Jeremiah 1:5, Matthew 6:31-32, Philippians 4:13 & 4:19)

I am here to love God, love others and build His kingdom here on earth. I will remind myself each day to live for His will and His glory - not my own. (Habakkuk 2:14, Matthew 24-25, Mark 16:15, John 13:34)

I will find time to spend alone with God each day. I will continue to seek the ways that He wants to communicate with me though His Spirit. I will seek His wisdom. I will listen to His voice, His guidance and His prompting. (Deuteronomy 4:29, Matthew 6:33, Romans 5:5, 1 Corinthians 3:16, James 4:8)

I will seek to become more in tune with the gifts God has given me and to discover the ways He wants me to use those to bring glory to His name. (1 Corinthians 12:1-11, 1 Peter 14:10)

I will not allow earthly things to become idols in my life. Even though some of these things are good – love, marriage, family, a career, money, health, success, etc. – I will not allow my happiness to be determined by whether or not I have them. I will remember not to give them more weight in my life than I give to God. (Exodus 20:3-6, 1 Corinthians 10:14, Colossians 3:5)

I will not pull away from God when I sin, fall short or do things I'm not proud of. When I become more aware of the areas of my life and heart I need to work on, I will see these as opportunities to draw closer to Him, to experience more of His grace and mercy, and to allow Him to continue molding me into the person He made me to be. (Psalm 139: 23-24,  Romans 3:22-23, 2 Corinthians 12:9)

I will stop and take a deep breath when I become annoyed or upset and am tempted to take that out on others. I will be patient, kind and slow to anger. I will not be judgmental. (Matthew 7: 1-5, Luke 6:31)

I will seek to be honest, trustworthy, helpful and compassionate in all relationships - with friends, family, neighbors and strangers. I will love on and speak life into others. I will remember that words have power both to heal and to wound, and I will refrain from gossip. (Proverbs 18:21 & 31:26, 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 4:29)

I will be sensitive to what others may be going though. I will not allow my own needs or busy schedule cause me to look past them. I will listen to them and their stories. I will look for the little ways that I can make a difference in someone's day. (Proverbs 17:17, Ephesians 4:2-3, 1 Corinthians 13:13, James 1:19)

I will be a prayer warrior. This, alone, is a powerful form of ministry. (Luke 18:1, Romans 12:12, James 5:14-16, 1 Peter 3:12)

I will serve without agenda and with a kind and open heart. I will never expect anything in return for what I give (Luke 6:35, Acts 20:35, 2 Corinthians 9:7-9)

I will not compare my life or my faith journey to the journeys of others. That is a sign that my heart is in the wrong place - a sign of jealousy, a sign of doubt, a sign of selfishness. I will remember that God works differently in each of our lives. He communicates with each of us differently. He has given us each different gifts. I will celebrate God's work and faithfulness in the lives of others. (Proverbs 14:30, 2 Corinthians 10:12, Galatians 6:4-5, James 3:16)

I will not allow negativity or pride to control me. I will seek to be humble in all that I do. (Proverbs 11:2, Isaiah 2:12, Philippians 2:3, James 4:6)

I will not focus so much on what other people think of me. I will be myself. I will remember that my true worth is found in God, not the opinions of those who don’t fully know me. (John 14:27, Romans 12:2, Galatians 1:10)

I will not over-obsess, over-think, over-worry or over-plan. These are some of my greatest weaknesses, and they are signs that I am trying too hard to control things. They allow God no room to work. I will do my best to pray about everything, and worry about nothing. (Psalm 32:8, Proverbs 3:5-6, Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7)

I will trust that God will give me the words when I'm presented an opportunity to speak to someone about my faith. I will give the moment to Him. I will remember that it's about Him and His good news, not about me or how much I appear to "know." I won't worry so much about saying the "right" thing. In any situation where I feel He is calling me to step out in faith, I will trust that He has equipped me for the task. (Joshua 1:9, Luke 12:12, Ephesians 2:10)

I will thank God each day for the blessings He has given me. I will remember that every good and perfect thing comes from above. It is all from Him. I will thank Him for all of the ways He is working in my life. (Psalm 100:4, Ephesians 5:20, James 1:17)

I will take time to notice and relish the beauty God has placed in the world - the sunset, laughter, the ocean, a smile, animals, music, the wind rustling through the trees - it is all part of His creation. (Psalm 19:1 & 95:4-5 & 104:24-25, John 1:3)

I will be quick to forgive, but I will not allow others to take advantage of me. I will surround myself with a community of loving, supportive, honest people. I will remember that just as iron sharpens iron, one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 13:12 & 27:17, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13)

I will be confident in who I am and willing to stand up for what I believe in. I will be strong and courageous. (Proverbs 3:26, Matthew 10:22, 1 Corinthians 6:13)

I will stop and pray when I'm tempted or distracted by sin or when I almost fall back into things I've worked hard to leave behind. I will practice self-control. I will pray for the strength to say no and walk away. I will remember not to put those things above Him. I will seek that security, acceptance, beauty, attention, answer, validation - whatever temporary satisfaction those temptations would give me - in God alone. (1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Timothy 1:7, Hebrews 2:18)

I will remember that God is still there, and will always be there, when life gets hard - when pain, discouragement and hardship seem too much to bare. He is constant and unwavering. He can provide purpose and meaning in all circumstances. He has a plan that is way bigger and higher than what I can see or understand now. It might not always make sense, but I will trust Him. I will praise Him through it all. (Psalm 31:19 & 37:7, Isaiah 41:10 & 55:9, Romans 8:28, 1 Thessalonians 5:13)

I will remember that the day of His return is coming. Although the evilness of this world can become overwhelming, I can find peace in knowing that, one day, He will come back in glory. Evil will be brought to justice, and He will wipe away every tear. The pain we experience now won’t even compare to the glory He will reveal to us. (Romans 8:18, 2 Corinthians 4:17, Revelation 21:4, 22:12)

I will be excited, faith-filled and expectant as I walk into the future and all He has planned for me. I will live my life in response to the overwhelming beauty of God that is shown to us in the Gospel, and I will rest in the assurance of the finished work of Christ. (Proverbs 31:25, Philippians 1:13)