Hey friends,
I apologize that it has been so long since my last update. In case you don't already know, I am back home in the States. We got to a point with my health concerns where the smartest and safest decision was to come home and focus on figuring out what's wrong. My mom and brother were still able to come visit, and we had an incredible time! They came during the last week of July. My brother left at the beginning of August, but my mom stayed with me until the 11th.
It's hard to believe that I've been home for almost a month already. I was trying to wait until we had some solid answers regarding my health before writing this post, but it's looking like it might take longer than we initially thought.
I miss everyone in Cape Town and at Hillsong so much. I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning and drive to church for work, but I know coming home was the right choice.
I listened to a sermon by Steven Furtick called "The Hidden Cost of a High Calling" during first week I was back at home. In it, he talked about how there's always a reason for the season that we're in - that what's happening now is always connected to what's next. We live in a world where we're always reaching forward and looking for something different and better than we have now. But we can get to that "next" and not have the strength we need because we were not faithful "now."
"What you're doing now and how you do it now is the most important thing in what God is going to do next. The biggest temptation will be to chase after what is next and neglect what God is doing now. But if you neglect what God is doing now, you won't have what you need."
After initially listening to the sermon, I was very encouraged and motivated. I felt like everything was going to be just fine if I just stuck with it and made the best of the situation. I felt like there must be a reason I was brought home and that God was still working through all of it.
I wish I could say that I've been living that out over the last several weeks. But, truthfully, I've been pretty discouraged and overwhelmed. In my head, I know all of these things are true. It's just taking my heart a little longer to catch up.
Maybe part of me is scared of what that would look like. Maybe part of me doesn't have enough faith. Maybe part of me just wants to be upset about the way things are right now. Maybe part of me is too worried about what might be wrong with me to focus on anything else. Maybe part of me doesn't want to give up control. Maybe part of me is afraid of getting too hopeful. Maybe part of me thinks it's easier to just stand still rather than work, believe and dream toward something that I can't even see a glimpse of yet.
Maybe that's wrong. Maybe that's selfish. Maybe that's human.
God is faithful, and He can make good come out of any situation if we let Him. A great friend recently told me that problems are just opportunities for miracles to happen.
I would appreciate prayers that I could actually start believing that, living that and feeling that in my heart rather than continuing to try and convince myself that I believe it.
I've prayed a lot for God to teach me to fully depend on Him. Maybe this is a great opportunity to learn that lesson.
I apologize that it has been so long since my last update. In case you don't already know, I am back home in the States. We got to a point with my health concerns where the smartest and safest decision was to come home and focus on figuring out what's wrong. My mom and brother were still able to come visit, and we had an incredible time! They came during the last week of July. My brother left at the beginning of August, but my mom stayed with me until the 11th.
It's hard to believe that I've been home for almost a month already. I was trying to wait until we had some solid answers regarding my health before writing this post, but it's looking like it might take longer than we initially thought.
I miss everyone in Cape Town and at Hillsong so much. I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning and drive to church for work, but I know coming home was the right choice.
I listened to a sermon by Steven Furtick called "The Hidden Cost of a High Calling" during first week I was back at home. In it, he talked about how there's always a reason for the season that we're in - that what's happening now is always connected to what's next. We live in a world where we're always reaching forward and looking for something different and better than we have now. But we can get to that "next" and not have the strength we need because we were not faithful "now."
"What you're doing now and how you do it now is the most important thing in what God is going to do next. The biggest temptation will be to chase after what is next and neglect what God is doing now. But if you neglect what God is doing now, you won't have what you need."
After initially listening to the sermon, I was very encouraged and motivated. I felt like everything was going to be just fine if I just stuck with it and made the best of the situation. I felt like there must be a reason I was brought home and that God was still working through all of it.
I wish I could say that I've been living that out over the last several weeks. But, truthfully, I've been pretty discouraged and overwhelmed. In my head, I know all of these things are true. It's just taking my heart a little longer to catch up.
Maybe part of me is scared of what that would look like. Maybe part of me doesn't have enough faith. Maybe part of me just wants to be upset about the way things are right now. Maybe part of me is too worried about what might be wrong with me to focus on anything else. Maybe part of me doesn't want to give up control. Maybe part of me is afraid of getting too hopeful. Maybe part of me thinks it's easier to just stand still rather than work, believe and dream toward something that I can't even see a glimpse of yet.
Maybe that's wrong. Maybe that's selfish. Maybe that's human.
God is faithful, and He can make good come out of any situation if we let Him. A great friend recently told me that problems are just opportunities for miracles to happen.
I would appreciate prayers that I could actually start believing that, living that and feeling that in my heart rather than continuing to try and convince myself that I believe it.
I've prayed a lot for God to teach me to fully depend on Him. Maybe this is a great opportunity to learn that lesson.
