An Untitled Poem

Sick. Tired. Lonely. Worried. Ashamed. Misunderstood. Disappointment. Behind.

My own versions of these words plague my heart and cripple my mind.

It’s an all too familiar feeling tonight.

I’ve been here before.

I feel my knees buckle, my body falls to the floor.

You hear my cries.

You see the ache in my soul.

Like a knot that cannot be untied,

A sinking weight,

A raging avalanche inside.

You answer my call, reach out to console,

As You have time and time before.

You remind me You’re here, constantly with me.

Always fully in control.

 “Although right now you don’t understand,

There is purpose in this,” You say. “Hold on. I have a plan.”

So I take those thoughts captive,

Heave them from down below to up above.

I find peace in Your presence, rest in Your promises,

I soak in Your love.

I block out all other voices, every lie, all other sounds.

I fix my eyes on the One whose knowledge and power know no bounds.

Take as much time as needed, Lord, to do what You want to do.

Prepare me, mold me, grow me, restore me, make me new.

Direct my gaze to the cross,

The ultimate demonstration of Your love,

A reminder to trust. 

Remind me that Your grace is and will always be enough.

Make me more confident of who I am,

More aware of who You are.

Help me to know You’re never too far.

Savior. Healer. Father. Provider. Protector. Teacher. Guide. Friend.

The One with whom life has no end.

Having faith in what I cannot yet see,

I bring it all to You, lay it down at Your feet.

Your will, not my own, I want to break through.

These days of rest, the time in between,

I’ll spend them seeking and chasing after You.

We sit together in silence for a while, You and I.

It’s a comfortable place, our secret space,

A peaceful embrace, a shelter in the storm.

I feel the chains break as I start to let go.

Slowly, but surely, those words begin to transform.

Loved. Forgiven. Saved. Free. Called. Known. Valued. Cherished. Set apart.

I breathe that in. I let it sink deep within.

It consumes every corner of my heart.

What I say next begins as a whisper

And crescendos to a shout.

Meant with more sincerity each time it leaves my lips,

Repeated until there is no trace of doubt.

“I thank You, Lord, and I trust You.

Show me more of what this season is meant to be about.”