A Health / Life Update!

Hey Friends,

I realized the other day that I've been seriously lagging behind on the blog front! I thought I'd fix that and write a little post with some updates on the things that have been going on lately. Over the last few months, we think we've started to gain a better understanding of what's been going on with my health these last couple of years.

Long story short, we found that I have a bacterial overgrowth/infection in my small intestine. We believe that has caused the known damage in my pancreas, intestinal lining, and GI tract in general. My doctor thinks the damage is significant enough that toxins and other substances could have gotten into my bloodstream, which could be a big part of what has been causing many of the non-digestive symptoms and issues throughout the rest of my body. This "diagnosis" is something we'd looked at a while back. When we treated it and I didn't get much better, we figured there must have been something more significant going on. But we realized that it was never successfully treated and that it's possibly been at the root of things this entire time.

You might think that this would be a fairly easy thing to treat. I mean, how hard is it to kill a few bugs, right? But with the type(s) of bacteria, where they are located, how long they've been there, and the damage that has been done, it's actually quite tricky. So far, we haven't been successful in finding the right combination of diet and treatment to get rid of these angry little guys and allow me to begin healing. We're still not sure that we have a full grasp on the extent of it all. We know we're still missing a piece or two of the puzzle yet, such other potential contributing factors or underlying causes, and we're waiting on some test results that will hopefully give us some clues as to what those might be.

We've gotten to the point where my weight loss and malnutrition status are now more of an issue than the bacteria. It's been a pretty overwhelming couple of weeks, physically and emotionally, as I've had to come to terms with the fact that my body has kind of crossed a line that I was hoping to avoid crossing. The bacteria are now taking a back seat as we put our focus on getting me back to a healthy weight and more nourished state. Once we do that, we'll reassess the situation. It's very possible that some symptoms we've been attributing to bacteria are actually being caused by malnutrition, so I am quite curious to see if and how much I improve with this change in focus. 

This new plan will involve a pretty significant change in diet. I do have some concerns about that, but I know it's important. My focus will be on high calorie and low volume foods, which is essentially the exact opposite of what I have been doing these last two years. My doctor actually did say, "If you can eat some pizza from Old Chicago without reacting too badly, I want you to do it." Haha! We'll also be trying to keep things as easy to digest as possible so that I don't overwhelm my system too much, but I have been told to prepare for this to be a bit of a hard and temporarily unpleasant process.

My taste buds will sure enjoy it though! I've missed so many things, so I am excited to have more "food freedom." I've been over-analyzing every bite of food for so long, worrying that almost anything I eat could somehow feed the bacteria or cause a flare in symptoms. It's very possible that stressing so much and over-limiting my diet has actually made things worse. (I read this article the other day, and it resonated so much with where I'm at.) So, in addition to my doctors, I've also started seeing a nutritional therapist who will be guiding this process and helping me work through the food-related anxieties I've developed.

I haven't been able to get out and do too much other than church-related activities these last couple of weeks. For this next little while, it will be important for me to conserve as much energy and as many calories as I can. My mom took this last week off from work so that she could be at home to monitor my health, cook for me, take me to my appointments, and keep me company. (If you're reading this, mom, thank you! You have sacrificed so much for me over these last couple of years, and I truly couldn't have made it through without you.) 

Sometimes people ask me what in the world I've been doing with all my time and how I haven't lost my mind by now. Haha. Believe me, sometimes it takes all I have to keep from going crazy. But I usually don't mind spending time alone. In a very big way, I think being an introvert has helped me in handling this season.

I did actually take a trip to Florida with my mom and brother the first week of June! It was my first time doing any real traveling in about two years. It was so great to get away for a little while, see the ocean, and take a little time to refresh. I also got to see and catch up with a great friend I'd met while I was in South Africa who was in Florida on holiday. I loved getting to reconnect with him for a bit! All things considered, I felt pretty good for the majority of the time I was there. Thank you to everyone who was praying for that for me. I know a lot of you were, and God sure answered that prayer! 

In general, when I am able to go out, one of my favorite things to do is spend time with my church family. When I came home from South Africa in the fall of 2015, my plan was to "get better quickly" and then find a job somewhere, anywhere, not in Kansas. I had no desire to stay here. That changed when I found The Gathering. I love how much my church loves Jesus and how passionate and committed they are to being and making disciples. I never thought I'd say I feel called to be here, but I do. God has been and is getting ready to do some incredible things in Newton, and I'm so thankful and excited to be a part of it.

On the days I stay in, I often spend my time reading, journaling, sitting outside, listening to music, taking glorious naps, watching (sometimes too much) Netflix, listening to sermons and podcasts, Skyping or catching up with friends who don't live in the area, and doing occasional freelance writing and/or editing work. I also enjoy doing gentle yoga, deep breathing, and other simple exercises or techniques that help with stress relief and digestive function. (We're actually working on getting me in with a physical therapist so that I can start putting a little more focus on that area of things. I'm kind of excited about that!)

I also spend a lot of time with Jesus. Pursuing Him and His plans in the midst of the crazy, beautiful mess of this season and allowing Him to take my life in a far different direction than I'd ever planned or imagined has been the best decision I could have ever made. Time after time, He's shown me how He's been walking this journey right along with me, even when I've doubted Him or pulled away. He's shown me that He is constant, even when everything else around me seems uncertain. He has grown me and challenged me. He has reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. He has made me more aware of who He is, of His unwavering love for me, of who I am to Him, and of who He has called me to be. 

Earlier this year, I participated in a 12-week Disciple Life leadership course through my church. It was an incredible experience that helped me learn so much about what it truly means to be a disciple, where I'm at in my own spiritual journey, my strengths and gifts, and the areas I still need to grow in when it comes to being on mission with Jesus. Spending time working through those things with God  has been wonderful, difficult, and eye-opening all at the same time. 

Over the last couple of weeks, I've really felt God challenging and encouraging me to start praying differently about my health. I've been praying for healing throughout this season, but those prayers haven't always been consistent or full of expectant faith. More than for healing, I've been praying for His will and timing. I know that's not a bad thing to pray for, of course, but God has been making it clear that He wants me to start praying more boldly and confidently for full physical healing - asking Him for it, truly believing for it, and thanking Him for it. This has been confirmed through sermons, messages, scripture, and words and encouragements others have shared with me. He has been the One authoring and leading me through this season, and I know He is the One who will lead me out of it. However and whenever that happens, I'm praying that He will be glorified through every single part of it. I'm praying that I will come out of this season with a testimony and a God story that will lead others to Christ and help them experience His love and grace.

Honestly, it doesn't surprise me that I've had an extra rough couple of weeks right when I believe I've been hearing from God. Spiritual warfare is very real. So I'm going to do my best to continue trusting and leaning in even further. The songs "Shadow Step" and "Not Today" from Hillsong United's new album Wonder have been part of my prayers and praise every morning. (If you haven't listened to the album yet, you should! I've had it on repeat for weeks.)

This has been such an important season of growth and preparation. I truly believe that there is a "next" coming soon and that I will be healthy for it. I have no idea what that is or what it will look like, but I'm in a place where I'm excited for and open to whatever God has planned and wherever He leads me - even if it's something completely unexpected. I am praying and believing that new season will start soon. If you'd like to, I'd love for you to join me in that. :) 

I know I usually end every post with a thank you paragraph, but I still feel like I don't say it nearly enough. So, THANK YOU to each and every one of you who has been a part of this season of my life - from near or far - by praying for me, speaking life, sharing words of encouragement, allowing me to vent, cooking for me, laughing with me, truly listening to me, coming over and staying in with me when I'm not up to going out, putting up with me on my bad days, walking with me through it all, and/or simply being there for me when I've needed a friend. It all has meant more than you could possibly know.


P.S.  If any of this has connected with you, don't hesitate to reach out. I have learned so much about how the health of your gut can impact your overall health. This area of research has been gaining a lot of ground in recent years. It truly is fascinating stuff! I realize it may not be the most popular or comfortable topic to talk about, but it's become a big part of my life and story. I can definitely direct you to some great resources if you're interested. :)

The Beautiful Mess

Hey Friends,

It’s been a weird and overwhelming couple of weeks. I haven’t really been able to get a solid grasp on everything that I’ve been thinking and feeling lately. My mind is jumbled, spinning, filled with a bunch of disjointed and incoherent thoughts. When things like this happen, I often turn to writing to sort it all out. Sometimes the results are too personal to share. Sometimes I’m left feeling more confused than when I started. On somewhat rare occasions, my bursts of writing make their way into blog posts. If you’re reading this now, I guess this was one of those times.

I’ve been pretty “off” lately - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There’s been quite a sudden and noticeable change in how I’ve felt in all of those areas during the last couple of weeks. Although each of those individual areas shouldn’t necessarily have a direct impact on the others, it very much seems like they have. The physical changes came first, followed by the emotional and spiritual changes.

Physically, I’m exhausted. I’ve been feeling worse than I have in a while. Maybe that’s partly because I’ve been busier than what has been “normal” for me recently. Maybe that’s a sign my body is taking another step down the fine line it has been walking for quite some time. Maybe it's a combination of the two or something else entirely. Whatever the reason, it worries me. I don’t like that I often can’t even go get my hair cut or make it through a church service without needing to take the next few hours to recover. I don’t like how a lot of the symptoms that went away for a while have started to come back. I don’t like that I rely so heavily on IV nutrients and vitamins. I don’t like how suddenly my body can feel like it’s attacking itself from many different directions.

Emotionally, my heart has been heavy. I feel like I'm caught up in a constant and very quickly rotating cycle of highs and lows. I find myself overwhelmed by all of the back and forth and ups and downs that have come in my health journey. It’s now 2017, which means that I’ve been sick for almost two years. Two years is a long time to be constantly sick with no answers. Truthfully, I don’t even remember what being healthy feels like. Every time we think we’re close to an answer, that door gets slammed shut. It has been far from easy, and I don’t know if my heart can handle another specialist saying something like, “Sorry, I can see that you’re clearly sick, but I don’t think I can help you.”

I often feel like I’m being a bad friend. I crave meaningful conversations and relationships, but lately the way I feel physically has made it hard to for me to be fully focused and present when talking to someone. Even if they don’t notice it, I do, and I don’t like feeling absent in my relationships.

I often feel like I’m putting on a mask – like I’m acting as though I’m okay, even when I’m not. I catch myself rehearsing what I'll say when someone asks me how I'm doing. I worry about burdening people by being honest with them. They have their own lives and problems to focus on, and I worry that they’ll get tired of hearing about mine. But pretending is physically and emotionally exhausting. I know I need to do a better job, within reason, of being honest with myself and with others about how I’m feeling.

I often find myself feeling torn between what I want to do and what my body needs me to do. I’ve had a hard time finding a balance between getting enough rest and being intentional about using my energy in positive, productive, and purposeful ways. When I do have to miss out on something important, I feel that very deeply. As an example, I wasn’t feeling well enough to go to Neighborhood Church last night. The Gathering has been such a wonderful and vital part of this season. It is my favorite place to be, and I know that being involved there is an important part of how God wants me to use my time. Yesterday was the first time I felt badly enough to make the decision stay in from a church-related involvement. I very much missed the opportunity to connect with the people in my group, build relationships, and grow together in faith.

Spiritually, I find myself in a strange place where I have a passion and desire to seek, serve, and love God more than I ever have before, but I also feel like my health status, worries, and doubts keep getting in the way of that. I often find myself having difficulty focusing during my time with God because of how I feel physically. I find myself falling back into wondering if it’s somehow my fault that I’m still sick. I find myself questioning what God is doing and why it is taking so long. I've allowed my mind to wander into places it shouldn't be. I find myself jumping ahead of God, focusing on and getting distracted by things I know I’m not ready for and that it’s not time for yet. 

I haven’t stopped trusting Him, but I've had a hard time staying in a place of peace and contentment like the apostle Paul so beautifully describes in Philippians 4:11-13.

I keep all of these things trapped inside more than I should, but God takes the weight of it when I let it go – every time. He steadies my heart. He takes me back to the cross. He reminds me that He sees me and that He hears me. He reminds me of who He is. He reminds me that He already has it all figured out. He reminds me that this is an important season of growth and preparation. He reminds me that big things are coming. He reminds me that His timing is always better than mine. He reminds me how fortunate I am to be able to spend many of my days resting quietly with Him. He reminds me of all the incredible ways He is and has been working. He reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for.

He reminds me of all of those things much more often than He should ever have to. He has been so, so good to me. He has been incredibly patient, and He has blessed me so far above and beyond what I will ever deserve.

With all of my heart, I'm praying and believing that the ways God is working in this season of my life will become an avenue He uses to reach someone – or many people.  I'm praying for a God story that He will use to help and encourage someone during a time of hurting. I'm praying for a testimony that will lead others to find their true meaning and purpose in Christ.

Maybe I should be paying more attention to how those things can be or already are happening right now. I've been so focused on needing to be "well" and have the full picture of this season before I can truly seek those opportunities. But no where in the Bible does it tell us to wait to share our faith. Maybe how He wants to use me in the midst of it is all part of the beautiful, messy journey. 

I need to remind myself that I can still be "all-in" with God right where I'm at, even if that doesn't look exactly the way I wish it did. I need to remain focused and present in where God has me now instead of trying to rush ahead of Him. I need to let go of what I can't control and cling to what God promises in scripture. I need to intentionally align myself with His Word. I need to be okay with having bad days but not okay with allowing myself to wallow in them. I need to get my mind away from the bad and immersed in the good. I need to continue to remind myself to seek Him daily, listen to His voice and His prompting, rest in His love and promises, and chase after all that He's wanting to do in and through me during this season. I want every word I speak, every action I take, and every decision I make to point to and glorify Him.

I’ll be heading up to the KU Medical Center in Kansas City on the 17th for an appointment with a doctor who specializes in cases that are complex and hard to diagnose. I would appreciate prayers for safe travels, for wisdom for the specialist, for direction and answers, and for continued trust in God’s timing through it all.

Thank you to those of you who have been praying for me during this time. I find such an incredible amount of comfort in knowing that someone is genuinely praying for me. Thank you to those who have been fiercely loving me through all of this, even when I haven’t had the energy to give much in return. Thank you to those who have shared what God has spoken to you about this season of my life. Thank you to those who have passed on wisdom. Thank you to those who have listened when I’ve needed a friend. Thank you to those who have simply been present with me when I haven't felt up to doing much of anything. Thank you to those who have seen and accepted me at my worst. Thank you for all the ways, big and small, that so many of you have encouraged and supported me.

There is so much that I don't yet see or understand, but I do know that God is good, that He is faithful, that He has a plan, that He is always on time, that His promises are true, and that He loves me with a love that is greater and more powerful than I could ever comprehend. I also know that is enough. 


"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4

"Ensure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children." "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." - Hebrews 11:7,11

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

An Untitled Poem

Sick. Tired. Lonely. Worried. Ashamed. Misunderstood. Disappointment. Behind.

My own versions of these words plague my heart and cripple my mind.

It’s an all too familiar feeling tonight.

I’ve been here before.

I feel my knees buckle, my body falls to the floor.

You hear my cries.

You see the ache in my soul.

Like a knot that cannot be untied,

A sinking weight,

A raging avalanche inside.

You answer my call, reach out to console,

As You have time and time before.

You remind me You’re here, constantly with me.

Always fully in control.

 “Although right now you don’t understand,

There is purpose in this,” You say. “Hold on. I have a plan.”

So I take those thoughts captive,

Heave them from down below to up above.

I find peace in Your presence, rest in Your promises,

I soak in Your love.

I block out all other voices, every lie, all other sounds.

I fix my eyes on the One whose knowledge and power know no bounds.

Take as much time as needed, Lord, to do what You want to do.

Prepare me, mold me, grow me, restore me, make me new.

Direct my gaze to the cross,

The ultimate demonstration of Your love,

A reminder to trust. 

Remind me that Your grace is and will always be enough.

Make me more confident of who I am,

More aware of who You are.

Help me to know You’re never too far.

Savior. Healer. Father. Provider. Protector. Teacher. Guide. Friend.

The One with whom life has no end.

Having faith in what I cannot yet see,

I bring it all to You, lay it down at Your feet.

Your will, not my own, I want to break through.

These days of rest, the time in between,

I’ll spend them seeking and chasing after You.

We sit together in silence for a while, You and I.

It’s a comfortable place, our secret space,

A peaceful embrace, a shelter in the storm.

I feel the chains break as I start to let go.

Slowly, but surely, those words begin to transform.

Loved. Forgiven. Saved. Free. Called. Known. Valued. Cherished. Set apart.

I breathe that in. I let it sink deep within.

It consumes every corner of my heart.

What I say next begins as a whisper

And crescendos to a shout.

Meant with more sincerity each time it leaves my lips,

Repeated until there is no trace of doubt.

“I thank You, Lord, and I trust You.

Show me more of what this season is meant to be about.” 

20 Things I'm Thankful For This Year

1. The Gathering. I'm thankful for how loved and welcomed I've felt from the moment I walked in the door; for how challenged, encouraged, and inspired I continue to be each week; for the wonderful people I've met and have begun to form relationships with; for how God's presence fills the room during incredible moments of worship; for how passionate the church is about Jesus and about being and making disciples; and for how much they truly love people. What God is doing in and through this church is real, powerful, and beautiful. I'm so honored and excited to be a part of it, and I'm beyond thankful to have found this church home.
   
   
2. My family. I'm thankful for my brother; for the incredible person he's turning out to be, for the ways I see God working in and through his life, for his musical talents, for our meaningful conversations, for his wit and sarcasm, and for his humility and his quiet confidence. I'm thankful for my sister; for her passion for life, for her advice, for her (often blunt) honesty, for her bold and quirky personality, for her incredible friendship, and for the unlimited amount of laughs that conversations and time spent with her provide. I'm thankful for my mom; for how she loves and cares for people with her whole heart, for her passion for God, for how I can talk to her about anything, for her gentle and genuine spirit, and for all of the ways that she is such an incredible role model. I'm thankful for my dad; for his encouragements, for how he has helped me and provided for me during this season (and all throughout my life), for his forgiveness, for his love of all things sports and Jayhawks, and for his unique sense of humor.
   
                        
   
3. All of the ways God has used this difficult season to grow and challenge me in my faith, as a person, and in my relationship with Him. I truly believe that this is and has been a season of preparation, even though I can't see or understand the full picture of that yet. I'm continuously amazed by how I can feel God working and sense His hand in all of it.
   
   
4. The entire team at Prairie Health and Wellness. Since my first appointment there, Dr. Jeff Davis and Dr. Kristen Marvin have made me feel seen, valued, heard, and encouraged. Even in the difficult moments, I've never once doubted their commitment to finding the root cause of my health problems. If you live in the Wichita area and are looking or a doctor who will truly care about you as a patient and a person, I couldn't recommend them more highly. I honestly don't know where I'd be without them.
   
   
5. Random acts of kindness. Whether I'm on the giving end, the receiving end, or a witness, it warms my heart when people are kind to one another for no reason other than to genuinely pass on a little more love and happiness. I've seen how much even the smallest of things can have an impact on someone's day. We need more of that in the world.
   
   
6. God's unconditional, everlasting, indescribable love and grace, of which I am so undeserving.
   
   
7. Nature. There's just something about going for a walk on a cool, breezy day that can instantly relax my mind and brighten my mood. I'd give about anything for a stroll on Sunset Beach in Cape Town right now, but the arboretum in town does pretty well too. :)
   
   
   
   
   
8. Hillsong music. If you haven't listened to Hillsong Worship's new "Let There Be Light" album yet, you need to. It'll lift your spirit and refresh your soul. I've had it on repeat for the last month, and I still can't get enough. I've found there's almost no better way to start off my day than with a little yoga, Hillsong music, and time with Jesus. I look forward to the day I'll be able to visit my Hillsong South Africa family and sing those songs with them in church.
   
   
9. The freelance writing and editing opportunities I've had during this season. Not being able to work a "normal" job during this time hasn't always been easy. Each freelance project has been an answer to prayer in more ways than one. I'm so thankful for the people I've worked with and for how I've been able to play a part in helping them share their stories.
   
   
10. Freedom and safety. I'm thankful that I get to choose how to live my life; that I can freely express my opinions and values; that I have easy access to education, health care, and everything that I want or need to survive; and that I can go to sleep at night feeling safe in my own home. I'm thankful for those who work and sacrifice to make that possible. It can be easy for me to start taking all of that for granted and to forget that so many people around the world are fighting daily for those things.
    
    
11. Genuine, Christ-centered friendships. I've realized this year, more than ever before, how having people in your life you can trust, count on, be accountable to, pray with, grow together with, laugh with, and be your full self with can make all the difference in the world.
    
    
12. Books that can sweep you up into an incredible story, that provide an escape from reality for a little while, that challenge you to think outside of the box, that teach valuable lessons, and that inspire. A few great ones I've read recently are "Midnight Jesus," "The Same Kind of Different As Me," and "Rooted."
    
    
13. That God has a plan and purpose for my life. For some reason, in the midst of all my mess, He wants to have a relationship with me and use me to further His kingdom. The weight and significance of that is overwhelming and incredible.
    
    
14. Photographs. I could spend hours looking through boxes of old pictures. Some of my favorite memories are stored in photographs and, as cheesy as it may sound, I'm thankful for the ability we have to capture those moments and keep them alive.
    
    
15. Netflix. Yes. Truly. There are moments that I have been so thankful for Netflix this year. Haha. On days where my body is just too tired to do much of anything, sometimes there's nothing I look forward to more than binge watching a few episodes of one of my favorite shows.
    
    
16. 86 Cold Press. If you haven't been to this wonderful little juice and smoothie bar in downtown Wichita, wait no longer. I have found no better cure for when my stomach is upset than their Root Down juice. It's like magic. Check them out next time you're in the area!
    
                    
    
    
17. Summit Church. I've been following along with their "The Whole Story" sermon series and reading plan since the beginning of the year. It's incredible how God has used some of JD's words to speak to me at just the right time. Two of his books, "Gospel" and "Jesus Continued" have also been an integral part of my faith journey.
    
    
18. Technology.  Although it can also drive me crazy at times, I'm thankful for how easy technology makes it to communicate. Many of my closest friends live across the country or halfway around the world, and I can't imagine not being able to maintain and build those friendships through Skype dates, iMessages, phone calls, and random voice notes.
    
    
19. How God sometimes answers prayers in the most beautiful, unexpected, and miraculous of ways.
    
    
20. Every person who has been praying for me, encouraging me, and supporting me throughout this season. Some of you have sacrificed and compromised a lot to walk with me on this journey. Some of you have been by my side each and every day, including the most frustrating and challenging ones. Some of you have been my prayer warriors. Some of you have been there to talk to me when I was feeling lost and confused. Some of you have dealt with me on days I've been a little more grumpy and unpleasant than I'd like to admit. Sometimes it has been the smallest things, like an unexpected hug or an encouraging text at just the right time, that have gotten me through difficult moments. For all those things and more, thank you. I know I don't say that enough. All of it has meant so much to me, and I appreciate it more than you know. I'm truly thankful for each and every one of you.

More Like Love

About a month ago, while full of excited and nervous anticipation, I got a tattoo on my right inner wrist that says “more like love.” The 20 minutes of fairly solid pain I endured ended up being more than worth it for something that holds such great meaning. To me, it’s a reminder of four things: God’s greatest commandment to us (Matthew 22:37, 1 Corinthians 13:13), His incredible love for us (John 3:16), the kind of person I hope to be, and what I want my life to look like. (It also happens to be the title of one of my favorite songs. You should give it a listen if you have a minute. )

Since getting the tattoo, I’ve felt God challenging me to dig further into what it represents and how I can apply that to my life. What, according to scripture, does love look like? What does it mean to love like Jesus loves? How can I start looking more like love on a daily basis?


1 Corinthians 13 gives us a great definition of love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (4-7). 

Jesus’ entire life was a picture of that kind of love. He demonstrated this not only with his own friends and family, but also with every person he came in contact with. He ministered to, healed, ate with, reached, and did life with those who many people during that time thought He had no business going anywhere near. Those who, if we’re honest with ourselves, we might tend to avoid more than we seek to serve. 

When He took our place on the cross and died so that we could be given new life in Him, He showed us the ultimate expression of love. The message of the gospel is the greatest and most beautiful love story that has ever been and ever will be told. 

Love is serving without an agenda (Luke 6:35). Love is helping those who cannot do the same for us in return (Matthew 25:40). Love is showing humility and grace (Philippians 2:3). Love is caring for others the same way you would care for yourself (Matthew 22:39). Love is allowing God to work in and through us (Matthew 5:14-16, Philippians 2:13). Love is being the hands and feet of Jesus (1 Corinthians 12:27, 1 Peter 4:10-11). 

I think sometimes we assume that we don’t have the time, resources, or ability to devote to this definition of love. But this is far from limited to the big things – such as overseas mission trips, for example. Love can be shown and worked into our lives in many “smaller” ways too. Here’s a list of 10 simple yet meaningful ways that we can look more like love to those around us on a daily basis.

1. When you ask someone how they are, actually listen to their answer. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve had a conversation that goes something like this: “Hey, how are you?” “Good, thanks. How are you?” “I’m great!” “Awesome!” And that’s that. I’ve found myself wondering how often we truly want to hear the answer to that question when we ask. Do we just ask it because we don’t know what else to say, or because it’s the easiest way to have a quick conversation while on our way to the next thing? And when someone asks us how we are, how often do we really feel safe enough to give them an honest answer?
   
   Of course, sometimes we are in a rush and don’t have time for a full conversation. But next time, if you have a few minutes, dig a little deeper. Maybe that person has had a rough day. Maybe they’re excited about something happening in their life. Maybe they’ve been needing someone to talk to. You don’t need to have the perfect response or advice. Sometimes genuinely listening and being there for someone can make all the difference. Aim to be the kind of person people can trust, confide in, and be their true selves with.
   
   
2. Pray for someone. Building off of the above, having more meaningful conversations with others can lead to knowing how you can be praying for them. Prayer is a powerful form of ministry. God hears our prayers (Jeremiah 29:12, 1 Peter 3:12). He tells us to pray and communicate with Him consistently (Romans 12:12). He encourages us to pray with and for one another (Matthew 18:19-20, James 5:14-16).
   
   
   Jentezen Franklin, senior pastor of Free Chapel Worship Center in Georgia, recently gave a message in which he spoke about five prayer essentials we learn from Jesus’ prayer life and how we can apply those to our own – “Make Up Your Mind To Pray.” It really encouraged me to start being more genuine and intentional in how I pray for others. Give it a listen!
   
   
3. Fulfill a need. If you find yourself with an opportunity to be of assistance to someone else, do so! This doesn’t mean that we neglect our own needs, but that we make a point also to be aware of the needs of others (Philippians 2:4, Galatians 6:10). Help a stranger carry their groceries. Buy someone a meal. Offer to watch someone’s kids for an evening. Ask your church, local homeless shelter, or local food bank how you can best assist them in serving the community. Find a cause you’re passionate about and get involved. Open your home. Give someone a ride. Take some cough drops and soup to a sick friend. The possibilities are endless. If you yourself can’t help them, direct them someone who can. You never know how something seemingly small to you could actually make a huge difference in someone else’s day.
   
   
4. Encourage someone. Our words hold an incredible amount of power, and we should use them to speak life to each other and build one another up (Proverbs 18:21, Ephesians 4:29). If someone is focused on their weaknesses, tell them about the strengths you see in them. Wish someone luck for a big event they have coming up. Compliment someone. Explain to someone how you see God working through them. Let someone know how much they mean to you or how they’ve made a difference in your life. Tell someone you believe in them. If you’re inspired by something a person does, don’t be shy about sharing that. There’s almost nothing better than hearing the right words at the right time, especially when you least expect it.
   
   
5. Let go of little pet peeves. We all have those things that annoy us. For example, it tends to bother me when dirty dishes get piled up in the sink or on the counter instead of getting rinsed and placed in the dishwasher. I’ve actually allowed it to ruin my mood when I wake up to a sink full of dishes. Sometimes this also leads to a negative attitude toward the “responsible party.” When I step back from it, I see how silly that is. It’s nothing to get upset over, and I could easily take a few minutes to do the dishes myself. So whatever that looks like for you, I encourage you to shake it off. Don’t make a big deal about it. Laugh about it. Show grace.
   
   
   “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone” - Romans 12:18. (I’m sure Paul probably wasn’t thinking about dirty dishes while writing this letter to the early church but, hey, it kinda works.)
   
   
6. Seek to understand someone else's point of view. Think about how much it could positively change the way we communicate if we all first sought to understand where others were coming from instead of attempting to push our own ideas on them or trying to convince them that we’re right. There’d be more real conversations and less arguments. This doesn’t mean that we have to agree with them. It simply means that we value and respect them enough to genuinely listen to and consider what they have to say (Proverbs 18:2).
   
   “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey
   
   
7. Trust someone with an important task. I was that person in college who had to put together the group PowerPoint or be the last one to read over a group paper. I needed it to be done right, and I was the only one I trusted to make sure that it was. I probably still am that person in a number of ways. I can have a hard time letting of go of things if the end result could potentially impact me in a negative way. I think trusting someone with something of importance to you definitely is a way of expressing that you value and believe in them. Having been on the receiving end of this before, I can tell you that it feels really good. (Practice good judgment here, of course, because there certainly are circumstances where it would not be wise to hand something over to just anyone.)
   
   
8. Forgive someone. This one is often much easier said than done, depending on the circumstance. It’s not always easy to let go when we feel someone has wronged us. Scripture makes it very clear in many ways that we are called to forgive others. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” - Matthew 18:21-22
   
   
   We are called to forgive others just as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). As we see demonstrated to us at the cross, forgiveness has the power to set us free. Sometimes I have to remind myself that if Christ offered me complete and unconditional forgiveness, I simply have no place in denying that to someone else.
   
   
9. Smile. Look up from your phone when you’re walking down the street. Look up from your phone more in general. Smile at those you pass. Say hi to them. Be aware of and attentive to those around you. Give someone a hug or a high five if it feels appropriate. Say thank you. Spread a little happiness. Perform a random act of kindness. Sometimes it’s the simplest things, like a genuine smile at just the right time, that can turn someone's day around.
   
   
   “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22
   
   
10. Share Jesus. There is no better or more important way to love someone than to share with them the only love that can truly rescue their soul and set them free.  “And he said to them, ‘Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.’” - Mark 16:15
    
    
    Admittedly, there have been occasions where I’ve shied away from talking about God with unbelievers because I worry that I won’t know what to say or that I won’t have the right answers to their questions. But I’ve come to realize how selfish this really is. It makes it all about me, it shows a lack of trust in God, and it leaves Him no room to work. Knowing Jesus has changed my life. Am I really going to let my own silly insecurities be what could keep someone from hearing about Him?
    
    Many passages in scripture show that God will intercede through the Holy Spirit when we are in situations of sharing or defending our faith. (Luke 12:11-12, 21:14-15, John 14:16-17, 15:26-27, 1 Corinthians 2:4, 2 Corinthians 3:5-6). We shouldn’t underestimate what He can do through His power within us (Acts 1:8, Ephesians 3:16-20). He promises to Guide us and that He is always with us (Matthew 28:20, Deuteronomy 31:6). So don’t overthink it. Take a leap of faith, and give the rest to Him. Sometimes it’s just about showing up and sitting with Jesus.

It can be pretty easy to get caught up in the distractions and business of the world, which can then cause us to develop a selfish mindset of, “I don’t have time for that. I’m too busy taking care of my own problems.” I’m guilty of feeling that way myself at times.

Whenever you find yourself in that place, take it back to the cross. Spend some time with Jesus. Remind yourself of His love for you. Rest in and find peace in that. Remind yourself of the kind of life He called you to live. A relationship with God, an understanding of your identity in Him, and a sense of His deep love for you is the source from which everything else flows. It’s impossible to have truly tasted the love of Jesus and not have a desire to bring that same love to other people. We should be craving that. We should be seeking that. We should be praying for those opportunities. It’s incredible that God wants us to be a part of it.

We are here to love God, love each other, and build His Kingdom here on earth. When you keep that as your main focus, you, and those around you, will experience the incredible joy, peace, grace, blessings, and freedom that come from living life with Jesus.

That’s looking more like love. That’s being a disciple. That’s making Jesus real to the world. And that, my friends, is what it’s all about.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - John 13:34-35

100 Things That Make Me Happy

In no particular order: 

1. Finding the perfect gift for someone
2. Meaningful conversations
3. Quiet coffee shops
4. Traveling to and exploring places I’ve never been before
5. Perfectly timed songs
6. The anticipation and excitement of being reunited with someone I haven’t seen in a while
7. Seeing others perform random acts of kindness
8. Sending/receiving fun, unexpected messages
9. Witnessing someone accomplish something they’ve worked hard for
10. Rainy days
11. Warm clothes just out of the dryer
12. Hearing good news
13. Christmas at home
14. Alone time, moments of stillness
15. Elderly couples holding hands
16. Completing a to-do list
17. Finding jeans that fit just right
18. Singing/worshiping in church
19. When someone trusts me enough to confide in me or ask for advice
20. Walks on cool evenings
21. The sounds and smells of the ocean
22. Looking through old photographs
23. Listening to music I love and connect with
24. Colorful salads
25. Hearing stories of God’s grace, healing and provision
26. When someone takes time to notice and remember the little things
27. Stargazing
28. Words of affirmation/kindness from others
29. Comfortable silence
30. Watching Jayhawk basketball
31. Cold pressed juices
32. Spending quality time with friends and family
33. Baby animals
34. Fall weather
35. Library reading corners
36. Handwritten letters
37. Getting nine or more hours of sleep
38. Feeling loved and appreciated by those I care about
39. Successfully making a new recipe
40. Clean sheets
41. Giving/receiving compliments
42. Cooking or baking for someone
43. Accomplishing something I was scared to try
44. People-watching in airports
45. Feeling understood
46. Perfectly organized shelves and cabinets
47. Watching the sunrise or sunset
48. Free Wi-Fi
49. The Ellen DeGeneres show
50. Sweet potato chips and guacamole
51. Any Ben Rector song
52. Being part of something meaningful; building God’s kingdom
53. Being able to speak intelligently on a subject of importance
54. Restaurants that have grain and dairy-free options on the menu (Although, I do hope to be able to go crazy on some pizza someday here soon.)
55. Watching someone chase after their dreams
56. Learning new things about a topic of interest to me
57. Proper grammar
58. Watching those feel-good, inspirational movies
59. Finding little ways to bring joy into someone’s day
60. Holding a sleeping baby
61. Thunderstorms
62. Empty checkout lanes
63. Productive mornings
64. Warm, fuzzy socks
65. Moments of finally “getting” something; epiphanies
66. Bookstores
67. Helping others discover and explore their passions and talents
68. Passing knowledge on to someone else
69. Getting my hair cut
70. Laughter
71. The smell and feel of a newly cleaned room
72. Practicing yoga
73. Cuddling up under blankets with a good movie or book
74. Aromatherapy
75. Conversations with God
76. Family game nights
77. Throwing a surprise party
78. Long sleeves and shorts
79. Occasional Netflix binges
80. Going to concerts
81. Days with no plans
82. Enjoying a breathtaking landscape/view
83. Watching the leaves change
84. Skype dates with friends that live far away
85. Good hair days
86. Long hugs
87. Seeing others grow in their faith
88. When the seat next to mine on an airplane is empty
89.  Road trips
90.  Comfortable chairs
91.  Rainbows
92.  Sleeping with a loud noise fan
93.  Cold movie theaters
94.  Hearing “I love you”
95.  Helping someone tell/share their story through writing
96.  Seeing someone who truly enjoys their job
97. Brand new and colorful pens
98. Long walks on cool evenings
99. Making healthy smoothies
100. Going on drives at night